Thursday, March 26, 2015

Landrun100 2015

I know, a race report! It is kind of crazy. I guess I feel like writing about races again... so sue me.

Photo courtesy of 241photography.com

KCOI Boulevard teammate, Kathryn Gaherty and I pulled into Stillwater, Oklahoma on the afternoon of Friday the 13th,  got checked in and made our way down to District Bikes for the pre-race ride. The rain which had been threatening, started to come the minute the group of 30ish riders pulled out. We decided to keep our ride at 50 minutes, just enough to spin our legs a little, split from the group and doubled back for town on Jim Cummings wheel with just enough time to experience a small amount of what was to come the next morning.

The roads around Stillwater make for some fast and fun racing during dry conditions which I was fortunate enough to experience in 2014. The afternoon of rain that came down the day before guaranteed that there would be mud. I had no idea of how bad it would be. I had heard stories of the derailleur-snapping mud-fest that took out many of the competitors in 2013 and had already decided to pull out if there was going to be rain on race day. I was hoping that an evening of dry-time would allow for some drainage and went ahead with plans to ride.

The next morning Kat and I rolled to the start with 5 minutes to spare. Pretty much a perfect overcast race morning at 50 degrees. It was good to see so many familiar faces lining up. I stayed to the back. I had no expectations from this day. My lungs were still a little off from dealing with a bout of pneumonia and I had decided to play it safe and drop down to the 50 mile option. Kat had been in hard-core training mode for the DK200 and on target for her first gravel century of the year. We went out at a fast pace and I decided to stay with it because it felt good and within my ability. I got on the wheels of the familiar orange and black kits of the DE PiJP racing team out of Arkansas and held on… until the mud. I had hitched on to their peloton at last year's Landrun with great results until I lost them to the “beer oasis” at mile 75. I fondly refer to them as the Supersonic Viking Highway. Lots of linebacker-looking guys with long flowing beards in that crew. Anyway, after mile 10, I could see the first hike-a-bike section up ahead and was happy I was rocking the big industrial sized can of Pam in my back pocket. I sprayed down the insides of my forks, derailleurs and a few other areas before I rode down to meet my fate and was happy that I did. I’ve been in mud, lots of it, but this was a whole new level of mud on the mud richter scale… it was the kind of stuff your throw pots with. The kind that attaches itself to you and stays there… thick and red.

Kat and I made our way to the first of it, a super rough section of deep stuff that a few lone cowboys were attempting to ride through much to the amusement of the people who where walking the fence lines on either side of the road. The fat bikes seemed to be taking a particularly hard beating in the muck and many sets of tires seemed to be of the non-mud-shedding variety. I was glad that I had turned over the tire choice to my mechanic (Joe Parker) this year and was pleased with the way the 35mm Clement X'plor Ush tires were handling it. The only problem that we seemed to be having was removing the mud from our shoes which we hadn't sprayed before-hand. Kat and I both rode sections that many were walking until I had someone fall in my path and I went face first into the stuff trying to avoid him. After about 3 miles of this, Kat and I looked at each other, started laughing, decided to call it, took a selfie to commemorate the event and flipped the bird for good measure.

What I have found over the years is that each race I participate in, I learn something new about myself. Sometimes it isn’t about slogging it out to the bitter end. And sometimes it is more than ok to give yourself the permission to pull up stakes and say “Hey, you know what? I’m out of here. I’ve done my best and I give”. Knowing when to quit is just as important.

I was not in the physical shape for a hard fight on this day. I needed for it to be easier and that was not happening here. I needed a few more weeks of feeling better before I was able to start digging deep again and had no problem calling one of the great godfathers of gravel to come bale us out. After another mile or so of mud and we came up on Uncle Dudley waiting for us at the intersection of 80th and Hackelman in a sturdy looking suburban with enough room to haul another rider who had snapped off his derailleur. Heading back to Stillwater, we saw several riders who had made decision to save their energy and equipment for another day, making that long soul-sucking ride back to town on pavement.

After a few hours of washing the bikes and cleaning up, Kat and I went back to town to hang out at the finish line and watch the people who stayed in the game, come through the finish line.

For me, the women were the big story at Landrun this year. The ones who finished woke up that morning ready to go to war. It was exciting to see Desiree White in the top 25 overall, fellow KC area racer, Karen Pritchard came in second and Dirty Kanza’s own Kristi (the sleeper) Mohn in a neck and neck battle for third on the podium with Iowa’s Andrea Cohen. Another one of my favorites, Amy Borkowski, took second overall on the half distance riding her new single speed.

We were happy to see the Kansas City area do so well and learned later the DNF rate was two thirds of the field. In most cases, this would be a race directors worst nightmare but in this case, gravel riders are a hardy lot. They don’t complain much and crappy conditions are a part of what we do.
The finish line party was just as great this year as it was last year although I could catch small glimpses of Bobby Wintle carrying the weight of the day’s race conditions on his shoulders. He was a little more subdued, although still greeting everyone with a heart-felt smile and a hug.

Bobby Wintle getting all emotional in 2014. I mean, come on. How can you not love this guy?
There are many ingredients that make the Landrun100 so great and a race worth going to. I know that for me it’s the first race of the season and it gets my head ready for what is coming. When the conditions line up, this is one of most fun and fastest gravel races out there. The people down here are genuine and gracious and District Bikes is a shop that anyone who loves bikes needs to see. And then of course, you get to see a very excited Bobby jumping into the arms of big rugged men on race day. These are just some of the reasons why I will return to Stillwater, rain or shine, for many years to come.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Day 60

Well, here I am at day 60 of this journal.
What a big journey it has been… to say the least. In these last two months I have watched my life fall apart and piece back together in ways I would have not suspected. Seismic shifts up and down the board. There has been death and rebirth. I accepted, let go. Watched as things fell apart and reconfigured. Watched the unnecessary burn away from what was real. Confluence's moving in and out of time, because the universe deemed it.

So what I do now is breath in deeply. Watch. Wait. Let it come.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Crow Medicine


Nothing like having to tell your dad, the man you most respect in this world, why you have been MIA. When the spotlight is on, there is no hiding. Hard truths. I explained my whereabouts and what I felt were a continued series of failures. Something I don't do well. His response is priceless:

"...[it is difficult right now] but be curious about it, hold it loosely and let the future come. Hemingway, when he was being divorced and the lowest point of his life, said it was all going on around him and to him, but God was it fascinating on some levels he could grasp. Not to trivialize any of it believe me. Pneumonia is life and death stuff. Breathe deeply and often. Deep breathing will help you on biking wind, too.

As to not having any more failure, you will, but failure is previous to something else. Failure on a project doesn't mean scrap the project, it only means go at it from a slightly different angle. Really.  Adjust the increments. A plane is off-course (failing) during most of its flight—it just gets adjustments all the time. Carving away at the result.

The breakup SEEMS like failure and it could be the huge success PREVIOUS to a bigger success. It's a painful as hell adjustment. And it may come around again, same only different. There's passion and feeling to it. It meant something, just not what your idea of it was. I know that there is want and need. Want is often something we have to reframe our perception of. It's always outside us. Need is within us. You may not get what you want, but you will get what you need.

(Example—me, say I want fame and respect. Without it I am nothing. The arc goes to, wait, I don't need fame and respect to complete me, I'm great just the way I am, I have respect to give, then I'll get some back. Self respect. Fame is dependent on others, I can't control that, so I'll just keep writing and sculpting and if it gets there, fine. I do it, first and foremost, for me. I'm okay with that.)

(Example—I want so and so to love me so I do everything I can to make that happen, then he or she does, but that's not the real me, he or she probably wouldn't love the real me. I reframe my want, relax it to if he or she doesn't love the real me, that's the way that is. I can't make them be someone else. The need is to love myself. Only then can I be loved for myself. So, want is outside us. Need is within us.)

Here endeth the wise old guy talking through his butt lesson. (The "if you're so fucking smart why ain't you rich" thing again)..."


I am blessed.... so blessed to have this guy in my corner. Consider me reframed and looking forward to the bigger success.

Monday, March 9, 2015

My bike, leaning up against stuff...


After a week of flooding my system with 4000 IU’s of vitamin D and two days of getting on the bike for more than a few hours in 70 degrees of pure sunshine, I am starting to unfurl and feel like an actual human being again. The windows are open. I am padding around in shorts and bare feet and feeling positive about things for the first time in a while.  Spring. It couldn't get here fast enough.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

It took a car wreck...

...to get me started on this journey a few days shy of two years ago. Boy, I had no idea. No U turns on this hiway. I pick myself up, readjust and move forward. All I know is that the universe is working and I trust in that.
Hands off of the handle bars, arms outstretched... in the wind.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Brave


First time I've been inspired to make anything in months. Maybe it took a fever to give me a hard reset or maybe I'm still delirious. Might have to break out the big-girl camera tomorrow...